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The Lovers tarot card in the Major Arcana is closely associated with love and relationships. Additionally, the Lovers represent values, choices, and alignment.
The Lovers represent a powerful bond between two individuals.
They can also symbolize lovers, such as Adam and Eve, or lovers throughout time; this couple has quite a symbolic history.
What The Lovers Represents On A Deep Level
The representation of Lovers tarot card consists of an Androgynous looking figure holding hands with both another male and female individual: they embrace each other in unity and balance.
The white eagle from the Emperor card; its wings cover their privates. A black-cloaked male looks away from the Lovers; on his cloak, you can see "deep red" colored blood.
A red-cloaked female figure on the far right side also looks away from the lovers.
Depending on your interpretation, the Lovers are surrounded by a duality of suns or moons. You can find two lovers within this symbol, holding hands and embracing each other closely.
The Lovers tarot card asks you to look at your connections with others through a more spiritual lens than an earthly one, which is why they are often described as hermaphroditic in some decks: representing all people and creatures having both male and female reproductive organs.
They hold hands to show their connection and where each individual ends and starts: everyone encompasses male and female energies, making you who you are.
The Lovers Card Asks You If You Found Proper Balance
You see a bond between two men and two women who attempt to hold onto their individuality and give in to a higher spiritual love.
You can interpret the Lovers tarot card as asking it querent if they have found proper balance in the different components that make up their own being: both spiritually and physically.
The Lovers in a relationship can also represent a polarity: an internal battle with temptation towards unity or disconnection through infidelity.
It is not uncommon for lovers to have this issue when confronted by another person they find desirable enough.
In some decks, the Lovers couple has the same face, which represents their oneness and how they are lovers first and foremost: one entity.
Now, let's talk about how the Lovers tarot card represents choices and commitments.
The Lovers And Making A Choice And Committing To It
The Lovers also represents being raw and honest and being clear about who you want to be in your life. It also encourages you to choose and stick with that choice.
You can see how it usually applies to relationships. However, it doesn't always have to do so.
You can think that you need to make a positive change in your life, but you cannot be wishy-washy about it.
For instance, if you want your mental and physical health to improve, you have to be raw and honest about how your habits are causing you to stay unhealthy. It is not comfortable to face, but it is the truth.
Then you know that you need to change to get into better health which you know will improve your mental health too.
That means choosing to start implementing healthier eating habits, finding a therapist that can help you if you feel going down that route is necessary, and increasing activity in your life.
And when you decide to do this because you want to be in better health physically and mentally, you have to commit to getting there.
Therefore, that is an example right there of what the Lovers can represent.
You have to make a choice and commit to it, whether it has to do with your lifestyle, career choice, and relationship.
If you want to marry the person with who you have been in a relationship for a long time, that means committing to being their partner for a long term.
Now, sometimes marriages don't work for various reasons, and no one can predict the future.
Life happens, and experiencing extreme hardships involving grief can break marriages apart, for example.
However, when you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone, you are not thinking about that. You are choosing to be with them for the long term.
And you have to be committed to staying in that relationship if you decide to marry them.
So you cannot think about whether the marriage will last in the long run because if you assume that the marriage will not work out, you are not genuinely committed to this relationship.
If you get raw and honest with yourself, you will see that you have doubts about it which is why if you are assuming you will divorce that person, your heart is not in making this commitment.
Okay, how does the Lovers tarot card relate to Risa's situation? Yes, she made a choice and a commitment to marry the first man who ever showed interest in her, Ron.
And she is committing to care for her child with complex special needs and is committing to help her aging parents.
Risa would have no reason to stray because she isn't that type, even if she no longer loves Ron.
But it is difficult to know whether or not she is staying with him because she loves him, or is Risa staying with him because she feels that he is the best she will ever get?
She has allowed her mental illnesses to define who she is and control her life. Therefore, it shows on the outside. She is also likely not physically healthy either.
She knows she is not a catch, so instead of staying with her husband because Risa truly loves him and is honoring her commitment, she may be staying with him because she is settling.
Why would I even speculate this? Because it is a known fact that Risa is not open and honest about herself and does not know what she wants.
Risa hides things such as hiding the fact she has been in therapy and feels ashamed of it. What else is she keeping secret?
For all we know, Risa always fantasizes about herself living a much better life, ditching her husband, her child, and her parents.
And it is normal to do that once in a while, no matter how much you love your spouse and kids, because life is so dang stressful. So it would not be normal not to do it.
However, since Risa cannot regulate her emotions and cannot be honest with herself and others, which is to say she could not do something out of character one day and ditch them?
If she were to do that, she is only committed because of pure obligation and her knowing that she could not make it elsewhere.
She is not committed for the sake of love. Risa does somewhat fit with the Lovers because she did choose to marry her husband and have a child with him and is still married to him. However, there is one aspect of Lovers in reverse that fits her situation.
Lovers In Reverse
When the Lovers card comes up in reverse, it can indicate indecision, infidelity, problems with a relationship, separation, or a broken relationship.
It can also be failing to honor a commitment, such as assuming that your marriage will end in divorce before giving it a chance.
How does the Lovers tarot card in reverse apply to Risa? First, you cannot say that she struggles with indecision. Yes, she decided to get married and start a family.
However, she has also subconsciously and perhaps consciously chose not to help herself at all.
That is common for mental illness, but many people who have mental health conditions do want to get better and achieve something.
It is scary because you are going into unfamiliar territory by trying out new therapies and such.
It is scary to adopt different behaviors, but if these individuals are sick and tired of their mental illnesses taking over, they will try something to help.
However, Risa has no desire to change who she is at all. She has decided not to look for methods to help her. Therefore, she continues to suffer in all of her aspects of life.
The way the Lovers reversed affects her is that she is having problems in her relationship because there is no honesty.
For all we know, Ron is not honest with her either. Even though no yelling matches are going on, the lack of honesty means lack of communication, and lack of communication is one thing represented by Lovers in reverse.
So how can you apply Lovers into your life?
How You Can Apply The Lovers Tarot Card Into Your Life
I have already stated this, but you need to get honest and raw with yourself.
If you are truly honest with yourself and know your values, which you would have developed after the influence of the Hierophant, then that will help you make better choices and help you determine whether or not you want to commit to something.
It is better not to commit to something that you don't know if you're going to put any effort into it.
Now I get that so many of us, including myself, have thought we had wanted to make commitments to things that were the worst for us and had to break the commitment.
Well, sometimes the Lovers in reverse has to come into play because not everything you do is meant to work out.
I will tell you a brief story about something recently that happened. Later last year, I joined a sprint for a particular social media platform.
I made the commitment and spent money on it, and I did it because I wanted to learn new potential hacks that could work on this particular social media platform.
The first month went well, and I had no regrets then. That is why I chose to give it another try.
However, the second time, I regretted it because I was starting to see the true colors of most of the users of this platform.
And I saw it early in the sprint, which meant I had to finish up the month since I paid for it. So I regretted it, and I was not as active towards the second half.
So, therefore, since I wouldn't say I liked the second round because of seeing not-so-nice things about it, I was genuine and honest about that with myself.
And as a result, I did not even consider joining the sprint again.
Of course, I could have felt pressured to enter it for whatever reason and would have made a commitment that I did not want to make, but why would I waste my hard-earned money and sell my soul to be a part of something that was not a fit for me?
That is why before you make any choices and commitments, you have to be true to yourself and ask yourself if this is something you genuinely want to do!
That is the lesson of the Lovers. The next card I will go over is the Chariot.
Episode 010: The Lovers Tarot Card